Written by Khan
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Topics: Dick Cheney, Polls

Wednesday, 15 February 2006

Pollsters revealed yesterday Vice President Dick Cheney's popularity has had a massive lift in the aftermath of attorney shooting. Polls taken before the shooting showed Cheney's popularity with voters was at an all time low of 12 percent favorable rating, which last night had increased to 65 percent. Pollsters further revealed that after the initial news that he had shot an attorney broke, the graph jumped, but a second massive upward swing came when details of the incident became more clear and it was revealed that the attorney was shot in the face. Neocon branch of the republicans were finalising plans for VPs bid for the presidency in 2008 when the good news from the pollsters came through, one of the participants, Donald Rumsfeld, welcomed the popularity jump as "a leap in favour of cause of liberty and justice around the world".

Other republican presidential nomination hopefuls Senator McCain and Rudy Guliani were not so cheerful and were last night playing down Cheney's massive publicity coup "as a lucky shot by an amateur". Democrats were equally unimpressed claiming that Mr Cheney had shown the same foresight in taking down the attorney that he showed in the regime change in Iraq. They pointed to the fact that the attorney had survived and that the American Bar Association has sworn to avenge the humiliation by exacting revenge not only on VP Cheney but every other bald middle aged man ( preferably white and fat ) they can lay their hands on.

Vice President Dick Cheney could not be reached for comment last night, but sources close to the VP hinted at more good news for his supporters in the coming days. Informed Sources were last night desperately trying to stifle rumours that VP has his eye set on the next target: attorney at large Gloria Alred. Whether the rumours have any truth to them remains to be seen but a life size portrait of Ms Alred was seen being taken into VP quarters.

PS. Fox News Executives were last night reviewing their decision to downplay the attorney shooting and are now planning to show a 3 hour special "He is Shooting out for you !" fronted by Bill O Reilly.

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