Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 13 January 2012

image for An Extremely Furious Michele Bachmann Has Asked Herman Cain To Please Stop Calling And Asking Her Out
A high school yearbook photo of Michele Bachmann who was voted 'Girl Most Likely To Drop Out Of A Presidential Race.'

INTERNATIONAL FALLS, Minnesota - Michele Bachmann, who dropped out of the GOP presidential race after a very poor showing in the Iowa Caucus, recently confided to her hair stylist that she is really upset about a certain former fellow GOP presidential candidate.

According to iRumors Bachmann's hair stylist identified as Harvey "Bubbles" Tinfoil is alleged to have overheard the Minnesota congresswoman remark to a close friend that she is really starting to get quite upset at the fact that Herman Cain has been calling her and asking her out on a date.

Bachmann said that at first she just laughed and told him to quit acting like he was a Los Angeles Lakers basketball player.

She said that she really became concerned after about the 14th time that he called to ask her out.

Bachmann said that she flat out told him that she is married, and that even if she was not married, he is married, and that even if he was not married, she is not his type, because everyone knows that the women that he supposedly harassed were all white women with blonde hair.

Bachmann assured him that the color of the hair on her drapes matches the color of the hair on her carpet.

She noted that he had told her that he did not give a Nevada damn what color her hair was or even if she had split ends, dandruff, or premature hair loss due to her getting close to entering the land of the change of life.

At that point an extremely furious Michele Bachmann told him that if he dared to call her one more time she was going to report him to the GOP, the ACLU, the NAACP, the YWCA, and the IUD.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Apparently the Pizza brutha got the hint because he has not called Mrs. Bachmann once since she threatened him with all of those acronyms.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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