Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 11 January 2012

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Tosspot Romney has been outed as a KGB stooge

London - Espionage has never been so attractive since the author of the famous KGB dodgy dossier The Mitrokhin Archive: The KGB in Europe and the West 'fooled' the West with his definitive directory of Russian spooks.

Colonel Vasili Nikitich Mitrokhin's seminal opus of Who's Who Up Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin's Arse was billed as the ultimate spy list containing hundreds of IDs of Russian 'plants'.

Today the massive Cold War tome was branded a laughing stock as a CIA/MI6 summit in Central London revealed the identities of the real KGB agents on both sides of The Pond.

"Very nearly had us fooled," the head of C-section at MI5 admitted this afternoon as Mitt Romney - codenamed 'Marshes' after the South England boglands that bear the same name - was finally outed as a Russian spy.

Samples of Romney's DNA are unequivocal that his real parentage is Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher - making him the third generation of that bloodline's turncoats.

And now the GOP looks poised to pick him to represent the Republicans' interests in the Presidential election this year.

"Apparently he was recruited during his French missionary position daze," a helpful Mossad observer at the talks explained, "that weird American cult he belongs to sure provided some pretty believable cover."

Establishment figures in the UK don't 'buy' Romney as a viable presidential candidate, however, mostly because his dumpy peroxide wife looks like the arse-end of the No 37 bus.

Much now depends what the voters of South Carolina will make of this GOP non-entity.

His biggest asset may be that he isn't a Bush.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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