Written by UWGB-Beek
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Monday, 9 January 2012

Washington--Glenn Beck is letting everyone know that Progressives are the reason we have history books in public schools.

"I just want my listeners to know that progressives are the reason we have history books in public schools. They know that if our children read history books they will know things about the past. When they learn about the past, well, it is game over for America as we know it." Mr. Beck said on his radio show.

He originally started his segment talking about how horrible Obama looked playing communist football in Hawaii, but soon turned to the subject of history books.

Mr. Beck has the attention span of a drunk on three day bender, so a change of subject isn't out of the ordinary for his listeners.

"Why do you think those history books are so heavy? Progressives made them that way. Yes, it is true, progressives made sure history books are heavy, so heavy that the holder realizes the burden they are carrying. It is that heavy burden that makes kids open the books and read them. If they were as light as my books, well, no one would read them." Mr. Beck said.

The segment was cut short, when Mr. Beck began crying and had to go to commercial.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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