Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 6 January 2012

image for Kanye West Develops Economic Recovery Plan for Rick Santorum
"I kinda like that Santorum fella"

Soon after West's announcement for the creation of a multi-national, multi-divisional think tank, manufacturing and service based organization, Rick Santorum recruited West to be his chief economic advisor.

The DONDA Company was conceived by Kanye West earlier this week in an attempt to show that his intellectual reach extended beyond the music industry. Tweeting his plans to recruit "doctors, lawyers, engineers, car designers, teachers, and nutritionists", the company was evaluated by many business analysts and described politely as an "ambitious endeavor". "With all the strategic planning ability of a 5 year old and no plausible hope of survival", said Hugo Furst, risk management advisor for Bank of America.

Finding vision and at least a couple ideas on a cocktail napkin from West's DONDA announcement, the Santorum campaign recruited West immediately to join the Santorum campaign team. "What better way to reach out to the broader voting population than by adding a superstar and strategic thinker like Kanye West to our team", said Santorum campaign publicist, Ivanna Zowndbite.

The Santorum Campaign got their wish, showing an immediate up tick in internet search hits, cable news program publicity, and interviews for both Santorum and West. No one was sure if the publicity was good for Santorum's campaign, "But, who cares", said Zowndbite. "People now know who Rick Santorum is, and that's all that matters".

Insiders to the Santorum camp, say that Kanye West is already busy putting jobs recovery plans into action, including the addition of hot dog vendor carts in several Midwestern cities, in January, and the creation of street flu shot booths in 150 small towns. "Details like food service handling licenses and medical certification for medical injections are still pending, but we love his drive and determination", said Zowndbite of West's apparent brilliance.

Santorum, who seemed to have trouble garnering support from any social minority, seems pleased with his new campaign direction. "Kownay was a huge addition to our team", said Santorum adding, "I love Rap music".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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