Written by UWGB-Beek
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Thursday, 5 January 2012

Iowa--The number of jackasses in Iowa dropped 100% after the caucuses were held on Tuesday. Leaving the state pretty jackass free.

"I was really getting sick of see Newt Gingrich in my favorite dinner. That lard ass was always eating the last piece of my favorite pie." George Lundy, a carpenter from Ames, IA, said.

Life in Iowa is getting back to normal after Tuesday.

"We wanted to be the first in the country to hold a primary, but I believe the people of Iowa might want that changed, maybe move the voting back, so the number of jackasses doesn't reach the numbers it reached this year." Gov. Terry Branstand said.

Other residents said they couldn't remember a time when the Republican party was so full of jackasses.

"I miss the days of Republicans like Ronald Reagan. Sure, the guy was a little confused, but what old man with Alzheimer isn't confused. Ronald Reagan was a great guy, and didn't think closing factories was a great thing to increase a companies bottom line." Sam Welch, a retired state worker, said.

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