Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

image for Santorum Celebrates Caucus Win with 2 Week Old Chicken Fetus
Chicken Fetus "Gabby" celebrates Santorum Victory

Rick Santorum, gitty from last night's Caucus win in Iowa asks a local farmer to provide him a chicken fetus to sing songs to and cuddle over night in hotel room.

J.R. McDonald, 92 yrs old Northern Iowa farmer, was taken aback at first when Rick made the request but then recognized Rick Santorum's sincerity. "I looked in Rick's eyes, there was a tear welling up and I could tell he had a longing for taking a fetus home to be close to and share the joy". Old McDonald gave him a small delicate unborn chicken fetus and Rick immediately broke down and started to cry. "This is Gabby, welcome to the world Gabby and God Bless you and all the other unborn fetuses in the world today" Rick said. Santorum then started to coo and nuzzle the limp and lifeless chicken as reporters snapped hundreds of photos for the tabloids.

People in the standing room only foyer of the 17th precinct could only stop and stare with amazement as Rick "Batshit Crazy" Santorum fondled and played with the chicken fetus as if it were alive. "It was the saddest and strangest thing I had ever seen - a grown man, running for president of the United States playing with a dead chicken fetus". In many ways, it represented Santorum's constituents who all crave the good old days when religion ruled society and it was acceptable to bring home your dead babies to play with.

From this reporter, I am proud to stand behind Rick and his beliefs. He blazes new trails for religious freedoms in America and opens the door for other fellow Bat Shit Crazy people to bring home dead things to show their children and play with. God Bless America!

Make Dr. Arthur P. Vandelay's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 2?

5 4 8 13

Go to top