Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Thursday, 29 December 2011

image for Kim Jung Il Put To Rest In Shaquille O'Neal's Size 24 "Shaq Attaq" Shoe Box
Shaq's Shoe

PYONGYANG - With wailing countrymen pulling out their hair and sobbing uncontrollably, deceased North Korea President Kim Jung Il was lowered into his grave enclosed in a size 24 Reebok Instapump "Shaq Attaq" shoe box endorsed by NBA hall-of-famer, Shaquille O'Neal.

The diminuitive North Korean leader (reportedly 5'2" in his elevator shoes) was quite a fan of Shaq. He was especially fond of watching one of the movies Shaq starred in, Freddy Got Fingered. Filmed in 2001, critics said it was one of the worst films of all time. Roger Ebert, a noted film critic, gave the movie a rare zero-star rating and listed it as one of his most hated films of all time.

Apparently, the bouffanted one didn't care what critics had to say. He was reported to have watched this so-called comedy 420 times, forcing his coterie of 26 fawning ho's to giggle with him as he slugged down his favorite Scotch whiskey. So impressed by Shaq's acting ability, he called NBA Commissioner David Stern, requesting a personal audience with the giant basketball star.

Although Shaquille stood more than two feet taller than the pgymy-dwarf leader of this communist country, they developed a bond that only players at this high level ever realize. After feasting on truffled barbeque short ribs and collard greens, the Shaq presented his new best buddy with an autographed pair of his size 24 Reebok Instapump "Shaq Attaq" basketball shoes.

Overwhelmed by this gesture of friendship, Kim Jung Il asked if he could be buried in the box from which these giant shoes were wrapped. The Shaq responded by saying, "The pleasure is mine."

The rest is history.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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