DETROIT, MI - Soon you won't have to drink juice to get your Agent Orange because it will be in corn. And corn is in almost all the food you buy, most commonly as a syrup.
Dr. Umbday Eadhay, family doctor in the rust belt, our source, is going to update his meal plans for his patients so that they no longer have to eat those time consuming oranges. Who has time to peel them? Who needs to, when you can get all the Agent Orange you need, and more, just by eating a candy bar sweetened with corn syrup, made from corn that has been sprayed with Agent Orange, thanks to the UN Special Population Project.
The products, in specially marked packages, will be distributed to areas in the US where unemployment is highest, easing the burdens and budgets of the local populace, according to Mr. Ugadobaduglebutt of the U.N., who heads the new pogrom.