WASHINGTON DC - A panicky First Lady called our news desk while seated on her throne: the Chinese military, who had been bugging and listening in on the White House, is at the highest level of military alertness; this in response to the President calling his dog, Chihuahuanukawanza.
She explained that Chihuahuanukawanza sounds like "Charge! Charge! Nuke Communists" when translated to Chinese. Each time he called the dog, Chinese intelligence thought he was ordering a missile strike, accept for one intelligence officer who thought the President was ordering Chinese food.
That officer has been executed by firing squad in Beijing today.