Written by Moral Volcano
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Saturday, 24 December 2011

image for "Imminent Threat Of Terrorists Posing As TSA and DHS Personnel," CIA says
A terrorist at an airport lounge

President Obama was informed yesterday about definite threats to the homeland from terrorists posing as TSA, DHS or other government officials. There was also specific intelligence about a female terrorist, a lookalike of DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano, who had conducted several dry runs across the United States.

Reacting to the threat perception, President Obama ordered all airports to "hunker down" and mandatorily frisk and scan all government officials including lawmakers. In fact, the order requires government officials to undergo a more rigorous body search than is recommended for ordinary civilians. Anyone claiming security clearance is to be double-checked.

TSA chief John Pistole confirmed the order and said all TSA personnel will be checked by a team of "super-TSA." The super-TSA team will in turn be checked by randomly selected TSA workers, ensuring adequate safety.

Ms. Napolitano is expected to return from Europe this evening after a tour of European countries where she tried to arrange a deal on sharing passenger data.

Many reporters are staking out the Dulles Washington Airport to observe Ms. Napolitano as she is frisked on her return. Interestingly, a crowd of anti-TSA protesters quickly materialized near the reporters, after a new Facebook group "Frisk The TSA First" spread word about the news.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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