Point Pleasant, WV-- He's making a list and checking it twice, but it's probably not who you think it is. Mothman is helping out Santa this year, after Santa had a terrible accident. The jolly old elf had his balls ripped off during a freak accident inside his workshop. Mothman will be circling the globe this Christmas Eve, delivering presents to children, and eating a large number of them.
Mothman is a headless extra-terrestrial from another dimension. He has nice red eyes that look like Christmas lights. Mothman resembles a giant moth, and likes to make buzzing noises when he flies. He's from the same imaginary world as Santa, but from a much darker neighborhood.
Mothman can fly down chimneys much more quickly than Santa. He doesn't eat Christmas cookies, but does like to nibble on cats, dogs and small children. Those with small pets and infants are advised to hide them for the evening.
"Mezzzzy Bzzzmas, and a hazzzzpy New Zzzzzeeeer!" said Mothman, as he prepared for his big night.