Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 22 December 2011

image for The Infamous Computer Monitor Tossing Delivery Man Has Has Been Fired and Has Gone Into The 'Witless' Protection Program
A package holding the broken contents of an expensive imported Parisian hand-held mirror which Picklefark destroyed.

LOS ANGELES - A spokesperson for the FlexHex Package Delivery Service Company has issued a statement that Fiorello "The Punk" Picklefark has been fired and told to turn in his Bermuda shorts.

The former delivery service employee, who was video taped tossing a computer monitor over a fence as if it was a basketball, was finally terminated after his employer received a little over 17 million angry emails, text messages, and phone calls.

The video has gone viral and has been viewed on the Internet by over 4 million people including President Barack Obama, Brett Favre, Kate Gosselin, Queen Elizabeth, Ndamukong Suh, Rachel Crow, Ron Paul, and all of the members of the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team except for Kobe Bryant.

People can just not believe that in this day in age when there are millions of individuals out of work that this one scumbag could so casually and so negligently put his job on the line by acting like a 5-year-old brat who did not get the candy apple he wanted.

The amazingly irresponsible and ignorant delivery man just kissed a $30 an hour job goodbye, along with some fantastic medical, dental, and clothing benefits.

At first his employer simply said that they would pay to have him go through a 12-step anger management course. Well what the dumbass employee's employer really needed to do was to have about a dozen or so of their customers, who have recently received damaged merchandise, turn the employee bitch into a human piƱata.

And the age old excuse of 'well he was just having a bad day' is not going to fly. That is one of the lamest excuses that lame excuse makers have ever devised.

If he is upset with his wife because she burned the baloney, or because his bicuspid is hurting, or even because he needs to pee real bad, that is still no excuse for his unprofessional, unethical, and dildo-brained actions.

And so to you, you low-life, bottom-feeding, computer monitor tossing SOB have a Merry Christmas and good luck finding another cush job like the one you just tossed away (pun intended).

A neighbor of Picklefark's stated that the ex-delivery man applied to work at a local Burger Queen but the manager told him to get the hell out of his restaurant because they do not need any highly troubled and dysfunctional douche bag throwing around their hamburgers and French fries.

FOOTNOTE: The Cucamonga Chit-Chat Chronicle is reporting that Fiorello "The Punk" Picklefark has decided to enter The Witless Protection Program.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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