The Isle of Wight is to be handed over to Argentina in the New Year. Britain and South American countries including Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay, came to the decision at a secret summit in the Uruguayan capital, Montevideo last night.
The Foreign Office said there was " strong justification" for this action, "Look we are overstretched quite frankly. We cannot justify another little tussle with Argentina over some silly little island. We need to send all our armed forces off to Iran in the near future; just as soon as the United States tells us to. So we decided that we would give Argentina a useless little island of our coast in exchange for their useless little island. The Isle of Wight used to be a holiday destination but now nobody goes there and it is virtually deserted; so job done the Argies are off our backs and nobody lost face or got killed".
The decision is the latest in a series of secret meetings with Latin American regional bodies designed to placate Argentina which has long claimed sovereignty over the Falkland Islands. The Isle of Wight will be known as 'The Isle of Malvinas' and a 'make over' will see it bulldozed into a desolate windswept bog land complete with penguins to ensure that the Argentinians will not be disappointed.
Margaret Thatcher was unavailable for comment.