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Wednesday, 21 December 2011

image for NAAGP Protest no Green Kids Playing the Grinch in South Dakota School
Just throw some Miracle Grow on me and I'll be full of grass!

The National Association for the Advancement of Green People (NAAGP) has started protesting outside a Minot, North Dakota elementary school over the fact the school's Christmas play Grinch has never been played by a green kid.

The elementary school's name is being withheld by this newspaper to protect the identities of any green kids, who no one has actually seen, but we did it just to be sure.

The president of the NAAGP, Donny Greenbody, who is purple, has taken the lead on the protest by climbing on top of the school's jungle gym refusing to leave until the school implements using a green kid to play the Grinch. Mr. Greenbody and his followers have managed to build a three story house on top of the jungle gym that is complete with a 6 car garage, Jacuzzi, indoor plumbing, a big screen TV and several posters of the Kardashians. It's pretty obvious that Mr. Greenbody is pretty serious about this protest and has vowed to continue to occupy the jungle gym until Easter, when he will change the protest to ensure that the Easter Bunny is fully green compliant.

No one at the school or the city of Minot seems particularly upset over the situation, being that the jungle gym has been off limits for 10 years now due to the fear of lawsuits from kids getting hurt playing on it. It, also, should be noted that the school canceled its Easter play due to complaints by the People for Ethnic Treatment of Bunnies or PETB.

"The fact green kids have been discriminated against is an aberration of justice" spouted Mr. Greenbody as he swung from a rung on the jungle gym. As he performed a kip-up Greenbody continued: "We all know the Grinch is Green, and I mean a Sylondra green if you know what I mean. Geez, the guy is practically growing grass and moss all over him for God's sake. Why not give the part to a green kid".

"Hell, I hear that they are having the Grinch played by some Vietnamese kid who just arrived last week with his parents who took over one of the city's dry cleaning shops. There was something about an unusual happenstance with the last owner who tragically died when he hid from his wife in one of his dry cleaning machines and his wife turned it on thinking that it was just a bunch of dirty dry cleaning. She did admit afterwards that the pile in the dry cleaning machine did resemble her husband when he came home at night and lay down on the couch".

The Mayor of Minot, Mike Dunnoh stated that: "You have no idea just how shocked we were to hear about this. We had no idea that a Vietnamese kid was allowed in the school, more or less the city of Minot".

More on this story as it breaks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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