Written by Lola Heatherton
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Saturday, 17 December 2011

image for Experts Puzzled by Surge in Polls for Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul Since They are Uglier Than Other Candidates

Political writer Jonah Wolfson who writes for Politico and Newsweek says he is shocked to see this unexpected rise in the two candidates. Says Wolfson "Here is a Republican field of candidates that is the best looking we have had this entire century. I mean fifty something Mitt Romney, Rick Perry and Michele Bachman are very very good looking. I'm talking model material good looking. Why have we not seen any of them surge in the polls?"

"Another candidate, John Huntsman, is better than average looking and even Rick Santorum is at least average looking and they are going nowhere. Don't even get me started on how hot Sara Palin is and she didn't even have the support to run."

Many political experts pointed to the election of John Kennedy in the sixties as a new beginning in American politics where the masses where finally starting to vote good looking people into office. Wolfson goes on further. "He was the first good looking president and many finally thought American was on her way and then we elected several ugly men in a row - Johnson, Nixon, Carter. Then we just settled on average with the Bushes and Clinton. Although Obama is certainly no Tyrese Gibson at list he is sort of hip."

"Now we have a chance to the show the world how genetically gifted we are. That we can be sexy and good looking in our fifties. Yet the best we can do is a Gingrich, Paul or a just okay Obama. It really is very disappointing."

Studies by CBS polling show that Americans still haven't changed much in the past 200 years in their voting habits and are still suspicious of those who are very good looking. Says Allison Ragsdale a voter in Iowa "I always vote for who is the best looking regardless of political affiliation. I look forward to the day when as country we have a president that is soooo good looking and puts the other world leaders to shame with his or her looks. Then we can be proud as a nation again."

Sadly experts say current trends don't favor good looking candidates and it may be several decades before we have another president that was as hot as John Kennedy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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