EMMAUS PA - News from the Broad Street Saloon in Emmaus, PA is backing up global warming, despite the cooked results previously reported. Scientists there noticed that while drinking scotch on the rocks, that the rocks melted. As this melt transpired, the level of fluid in the glass, at least among the slower drinkers, rose.
According to our local reporter in Emmaus, who was at the saloon, drinking root beer, scientists drinking scotch there stated:
"This proves global warming is true. My rocks melted. So it must be warm. I'm on the globe, so it must be global warming. See, the water rose. This means New York City must be under water by now. Wow, it must be awfully hot to melt rocks."
UPDATE - Scientists have subequently discovered that when ice melts, the level of the water remains constant. This Earth shattering discovery is the reason the "Global Warming" frenzy was replaced with the "Climate Change" frenzy. Dr. Phakedattum, one of the drinkers in Emmaus who reached the wrong conclusion, must have been drunk, according to Dr. Kissnigeria, who we contacted at Iron Mountan.