Written by UWGB-Beek
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Friday, 9 December 2011

Washington--Newt Gingrich isn't sure if he is running for president or just promoting his production company.

"Instead of campaigning, I am signing books. What the hell? I want to be taken as a serious presidential candidate. Sure, Obama did it when he ran for president and won, but I am a Republican and should be above gimmicks. My policies speak for themselves--just read my book. You can get the book for $30 at my website." Newt told reporters.

The past couple weeks Mr. Gingrich has seen a large jump in his poll numbers, but most experts say that has to do with the fact he can construct a true English sentence, and nothing else.

Mr. Gingrich likes to think people like him because he is good at changing United State's history to fit his message.

"I tell history the way it is, and without that liberal bias. I learned those skills on Fox News." Mr. Gingrich said.

There is still a couple weeks before Iowa takes to the polls, so hopefully Mr. Gingrich won't snap under the pressure and end up in bed with a young staffer by then.

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