Written by John Lombard
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Topics: God

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

image for God Appears on Bagel in Jewish Deli

Throughout the years, profits and saints have revealed themselves in odd and unusual ways. The Virgin Mary appeared on a hospital in Springfield, Jesus surfaced on a piece of toast, whether it is coincidence or divine intervention is up to the believer- or non believer.

To trump all past apparitions, a Jewish Deli on the north side of Chicago is claiming God has appeared on a poppy seed bagel.

I spoke with Deli Owner Ethan Stein.

"I was doing my morning yeshevitz when all of a sudden Boom! There it is!"

The poppy seed bagel sits on the counter under a gold piece of fabric. An employee brings over a glass pie lid and places it on top of the bagel. A crowd has not yet formed outside the Deli and other employees worry this may not be newsworthy.

Levana, the deli owner's daughter, explains to me in private her father has been searching for a way to ramp up business.

"I'm surprised you came all the way here for this," she tells me, "I mean how can you claim something looks like God? I've never seen a picture of God."

Upon closer examination of the Bagel, there was in fact a face. The poppy seeds sat in just the right spots where, when looking at the right angle, one might see a middle aged man, balding, with a small nose and high eyebrows.

I ask Ethan if that is how he envisions God.

"Well yeah but that's God before he became..you know...GOD."

Unsure of how to respond, I politely ordered an everything bagel with lox and a matzo ball soup to go.

Did God reveal himself in a Jewish Deli on the North Side of Chicago? Probably not, but the lox was worth the trip.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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