Written by susan allen-rosario
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Tuesday, 6 December 2011

image for "Live" Nativity Scene Turns Violent
"A donkey is not the only thing that Mary rides,"

Chula Vista, Ca. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but in hindsight maybe not so much. For two years in a row the Chula Vista public market has put on a "live" nativity scene the week before Christmas. The Delgado family, well known in the community, supplied the entire cast right down to the baby Jesus.

All seemed well with the group until one of the brothers, after six margarita's during his lunch break, giving him enough liquid courage to insult his sister, started a fight.

The sister was playing the Virgin Mary and the brothers the three wise men. Violence erupted when the brother made a remark about it not being an 'Immaculate Conception'.

"A donkey is not the only thing that Mary rides," he said pointing at the Virgin Mary.

The man playing Joseph, who was in reality the woman's husband, pulled the "shining star" off the wall and smash it over the brothers head. The three wise men quickly became the three Stooges hurling their frankincense and myrrh at the couple. Horrified on lookers scrambled for cover until police arrived on the scene.

According to police, the reason the family is "well known in the community" is because violent is how most of their get-togethers end. Well known to police is a more actuate description of this family one officer reported. Mama Delgado said that the children take after their father, adding that he was such an asshole she shot him and was only recently released from prison.

"You can bet these little shits won't be getting anything from me for Christmas," Mama Delgado said as she spit tobacco in their general direction.

One by stander said that this was almost as bad as last year when the baby Jesus the organizers chose had Down's syndrome. The Virgin Mary was so shocked by the sight of him she fainted knocking over the manger in the process. An elderly woman sitting in a wheelchair close to the platform was killed instantly.

Market owners say this is the last "live" nativity scene they will ever do, but promise something special and peaceful next year to celebrate the Christmas season. Someone suggested they get a deaf choir to sing "Silent Night" OR a group of unemployed elves, exiled from the North Pole to sing, "I'll be home for Christmas". Already rejected was the suggestion to have blind men on 30ft ladders trimming a 60ft Christmas tree while singing "Oh Christmas Tree."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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