Written by Lyndon
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Sunday, 4 December 2011

image for Herman Cain suspends race, pisses off dozens of women about to tell all about harassment and affairs
Other Republican candidates rejoiced at seeing Cain surrender; not so for about 30 women with an ax to grind

ATLANTA -- Herman Cain suspended his bid for the Republican presidential nomination and thereby got the last laugh with two dozen or so women who were about to get their 15 minutes of fame.

In recent weeks, women such as Sharon Bialek and Ginger White became household names.

Bialek, whom Cain secretly referred to as Sharon Biaatch, accused Cain of sexual harassment which allegedly occurred back when the Internet only had a couple hundred websites.

Last week, White dropped a super-sized double whopper by claiming that Cain and she had carried on for some 13 years.

It's been estimated that some 30 women were waiting in the wings, freshly coached by publicity experts on how to air their dirty laundry in the media. In light of Cain's announcement, it seems these women are figuratively and literally a day late and a couple dollars short.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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