Written by Evan Essence
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Sunday, 4 December 2011

On Tuesday, at a $100,000 per plate GOP luncheon, Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich talked about the importance of lowering the cost of production in America, if we are to effectively compete with the burgeoning Chinese economy.

"The Chinese form of Capitalism has proven to be the most efficient business model yet." Gingrich noted. "Ultimate efficiency in production, has been achieved, by keeping workers in low-cost sweatshops, with little food, no benefits, and 25 cents/hour wages. Anyone who gets out of line, and causes a disruption....will be shot," Gingrich added.

"The only way we can hope to compete with the low cost of production in China....is to lower our wages and our overall cost of production. Their workers are paid...on the average.....25 cents per hour....so we must lower our labor costs, accordingly. However....there are alot more Chinese, than there are of us. So...we will need to lower our cost of labor to about 6 cents /per hour...if we wish to compete with everyone else in the world." Gingrich stated.

He noted that....based on the success of the American prison-industrial complex model...which already has the highest incarceration rate, in the world....we know that the prison-industrial model...which provides low-cost management of the distribution of food and supplies to centrally-housed workers...... is a far more cost-effective manufacturing system....than managing a more traditional distributed business system.

"This solves two problems at once" Gingrich stated. It solves the problem of providing shelter and food for the burgeoning numbers of poor and unemployed...who would otherwise be breaking into homes and businesses to get money for food. And it also brings down the cost of production, by introducing a highly efficient labor management system."

Today's elimination of 'Haebus Corpus' will provide a much more efficient system for stocking our prison labor camps," Gingrich concluded. The 'right to a trial'...before incarceration....just adds to the cost of production....by putting money in the trial lawyers pockets. And it more cost-effective to arrest people...before they commit a crime...than to wait until after they have caused problems.

Gingrich concluded by stating...that in his estimate....maximum production efficiency would be achieved...if 85% of Americans were housed in the 'prison-industrial complex' quarters.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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