Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 28 November 2011

image for Hole-in-the-Wall Street bankers scoop $254million Powerball jackpot
Men-with-balls - lucky lottery balls! - in the money in Greenwich, Connecticut

New York - "They're gonna use the winnings to short the Euro, heheh!" was one take on what three Greenwich, Connecticut hedge fund managers might do with their stonking $254million Powerball win.

The winning numbers - 12/14/34/39/46 + the Powerball 36 - were apparently chosen at random at a gas station's $1 quick pick ticket machine in Stamford.

A $100,000 bonus for selling the winning ticket will be shared by staff at the Shippan Point BP station, minus tax and some local fees.

Today the Greenwich bankers still looked shocked and dazed as they collected their prize - less tax deductions - in the form of a check for $104 million.

Media reports have named them as Greg Skidmore, Brandon Lacoff and Tim Davidson - co-workers from the Belpointe investment company that manages $82million of funds.

Their Powerball punt is the fifth largest in the US lottery's history and follows one previous lucky Connecticut winner's $59.5 million winning in June 2005.

A press conference statement about the $$$s payout later said all the money 'would go to charity' - maybe for redundant former 'hedgies' from collapsed NYC banks.

Next week's lucky Powerball numbers are predicted to be 1/4/33/36/40 + 9, and usual terms apply.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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