Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Monday, 28 November 2011

image for Barney Frank To Leave Congress: Plans To Breed Gerbils At His Ranch In New Mexico
Attack Gerbil

WASHINGTON - Massachusett's Congressman Barney Frank announced today that he would not run for re-election in 2012, saying that, "He was tired of Washington politics now that his party was not in control of the House of Representatives."

Having spent 32 years at this job, Frank's retirement will deprive the House of one of its most colorful characters. Known for his quick and often acerbic wit, he survived a major scandal early in his career when it was discovered that his partner was running a gay prostitution service out his Washington penthouse.

Although he mentioned that one of the reasons he was not going to seek re-election was that his district was being re-aligned, insiders say that he recently joined with his friend Richard Gere in buying a gerbil ranch in New Mexico, and that he wanted to devote his waning years to breeding this cuddly little rodent so that it would be less adverse to entering dark and odiferous places without being drugged.

"There are other things I'd like to do in my life before my career is over," he said, without specifically mentioning his desire to breed gerbils.

Democratic National Committee Chairwoman, Debbie Wasserman Schultz called the 71 year old congressman a "historic pioneer in American politics and a credit to his gender."

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