Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: White House, Funeral

Saturday, 28 January 2006

image for Bush "Day-Plans" his own Funeral .. White House "Concerned"
Why we're in Iraq? Davey Crockett

"Bury my rotting bloated carcass next to Davey Crockett's rotting bloated carcass."

So reads President Bush's Franklin Covey Advanced Planner Planning 2007 entry. Crockett, killed during the battle of the Alamo in 1836 is, according to inside sources, THE reason Mr Bush ever ran for president to begin with. Now, according to White House aides, the president has his own funeral day "day-planned "in the Advanced Planner 2007 section of his Franklin Covey Day Planner.

Office Depo, the nation's largest retail seller of Franklin-Covey Day planners says that they knew nothing about President Bush's 2007 plans to join Davey Crockett in Austin's official State cemetery where even Major Stephen F. Austin is buried, "otherwise", as one Office Depo Executive put it,

"We would NOT have sold him and the secret service agents the planner."

White House aid Lisa Jernigen who discovered the president's day planner entry told reporters,

"I was NOT snooping this time I swear. President Bush told me to go fetch his day planner from the Oval Office. I did. I dropped it, picked it up and, be it fate, the Gods, whoever's in charge up there, the planner was opened on the date, June 13, 2007. I read the entry then ran straight to Mrs Bush with the planner."

Laura Bush, speaking with reporters assured them that her husband was NOT suicidal, as of today at least. Speaking with KWAX reporters she said,

"George's approval ratings have been falling and Barney DID throw up on his State of the Union draft but George is certainly NOT suicidal. I'll speak with him about 2007 and his daily planner entry. We've got a yard sale scheduled for that day so .."

Davey Crockett, a cartoon, a movie, a TV show, a legend and both a hearty breakfast cereal AND crunchy granola bar has for decades prior to 2007 enthralled millions. Former president Herbert Walker Bush told reporters,

"George has always been fascinated by that battle in Texas, at the Alamo where the Mexican army wiped up the floor and both latrines with our Texas soldiers back in the 18 hundreds."

Bush went on to add,

"Davey Crockett, George's childhood hero was unfortunately part of that floor wiping up cleanup by Mexico's general Santa Anna. Since that day George has basically lived his whole life trying to avenge Crockett's death. Unfortunately that's why I think we're over in Iraq. Me and Barb keep telling George that Saddam is NOT Santa Anna but .. I don't know what's going on in the boy's mind."

Davey Crockett, not known to carry a day planner did according to historians carry a "daily diary" which many consider to be the precursor to today's Franklin Covey Day Planner .. in which President Bush, 43rd president of the United States has indeed day planned the day that he will join his hero Davey Crockett in the year 2007, pushing up daisies (Texas Bluebonnets).

Executives for Franklin Covey, maker of the Franklin-Covey Day Planner said in a direct statement to the president on last night's Larry King Live,

"No Mr President. Our Advanced PLANNING section of our planner was created for folks to plan positive, empowering PRODUCTIVE .. .. hello?

Are you there Mr President?

Mr President?


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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