Written by Bobo Lutz
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Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Bo, the Obama's two year old Portuguese Water Dog, has a new moniker. The energetic first dog, known for its dense thatch of wiry black hair, is now Mike Hunt.

When asked what precipitated the name change, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney explained that third grader Sidney Morrell, classmate and former best friend of Sasha Obama, nicknamed the white house dog, "Bo the Ho". According to Carver, "This caused a high level of angst for Miss Obama". He went on to describe the effort made to make Miss Obama feel safe. He told how "using established protocol, secret service personnel held 9 year old Miss Morrell while Miss Obama bitch-slapped her".

Miss Morrell seemed to settle down, but "Bo the Ho" spread through the school, appeared on satire publications, and became the top headline for Fox News.
The name Bo would soon be a thing of the past.

When her 116 attendants failed to come up with a single name that was acceptable, the first lady took on the task herself.

Michelle reached deep inside until it came to her. She recalls how she shrieked "Mike Hunt!". It was in there the whole time", she said in wonderment.

Michelle took me down a trip to memory lane and regaled me with stories that her 'Grandma Helen' told back in Chicago. Mike Hunt, the hero in these stories, was a symbol of bravery for Michelle who fondly recalled two of the more vivid adventures. "The story where Mike Hunt traps a submarine was my favorite." She continued, "It wasn't until after she died that I realized that Grandma was using Mike Hunt as a teaching tool". She asked, "Did you know that the hydrostatic pressure differential of a diving projectile is zero when going against the pressure gradient?" I responded that I did not know that. Gracious as always, the first lady said, "Don't feel bad. You just didn't have Mike Hunt in your life".

Michelle then referred to a story about Mike Hunt's encounters with plague and pestilence but admitted that she hasn't yet figured out what her grandmother was trying to convey.

Things have settled down at school for little Sasha and the whole family has enjoyed hearing Michelle share Grandma Helen stories.

Michelle confided that the president was actually spending time with Mike Hunt, something he apparently hadn't done in a long time. "Barack now spends every free moment with the irresistible pile of natty black hair, and Mike Hunt literally quivers with anticipation at the sight of him".

The first lady walked me to the door and, with a catch in her voice, told me "Grandma made him larger than life for us, so I think it is only fitting that Mike Hunt serve as a reminder of her greatest gift".

Personal note: As a reporter, I strive to keep a professional distance from my subjects. I can't let myself get too close or I'll end up on the sauce or plunging hypos again. This assignment was one of those that grows on a reporter. Even though I would never vote for Barack Obama, I will always be grateful to the soon to be ousted first family for putting me in touch with Mike Hunt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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