UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - Members of the news media are reporting that for the first time in over a week, the former defensive coach of Penn State University Jerry Sandusky has managed to smile.
According to Sports Territory Magazine Sandusky sent an email thanking University of California at Davis campus police officer John "Pepper Spray" Pike for knocking him off of the front pages of the nation's newspapers.
Sandusky's email simply read, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
The gray haired old geezer as Wolf Blitzer calls him was alleged to have said that it's a sign that maybe he isn't as guilty as people think he is or maybe he is more innocent than he thinks he is, which he said will all come out in the shower. He quickly caught himself and said that he meant to say wash.
The former Penn State football coach who is facing up to 700 years in prison for charges ranging from purchasing counterfeit footballs to stealing players jock straps and selling them on eBay has been in seclusion and reports are that he may be moving to an isolated location.
An inside, reliable, unnamed source stated that he overheard Sandusky's auto mechanic Gunther "Muffler Mouth" Duckdorf say that the disgraced coach could be moving up to Alaska.
Meanwhile, Officer John "Pepper Spray" Pike is catching so much hell that he is seriously thinking about shaving his moustache, having sexual reassignment surgery, and relocating to Russia.