Written by alassandra2000
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

image for Airport Administrators That Implemented Nude X-Ray Machine Actually Porn Addicts
No guns, but look at those buns!

In the wake of the news that airports across the country will now be using machines that take nude photographs of passengers, x rays of a person's insides, and body cavity searches that are video taped, it has now been discovered that the administrators that insisted on these precautions being implemented, are actually porn addicts with fetishes for this sort of thing.

Said one expert on the matter, "I wasn't at all surprised that the machines were going to be implemented. To me, that's just normal operating procedure. But to find out that these guys have been using it so inappropriately is just plain wrong. I mean, how more humiliating and invasive could you get?"

The airlines themselves are making the most fuss about this horrifying news. "Now that people know what these photos and video tapes are being used for, they aren't going to want to fly anymore, and that is really going to be bad for us," said a spokesperson for one of the airlines.

To solve the problem, it has been promised that these administrators will be removed from their current positions, and new administrators hired, ones that will make sure that this material is only used for what it was originally intended, making sure that no one gets on an airplane that has a bomb on, or inside, them, anywhere.

In defense of the new policy, this was said, "there are just way too many chances with only a metal detector, items scanner, wand, and the removal of shoes, that a bomb could still be on, or inside, a person. This way, we eliminate any possible threats.

When questioned about the basic privacy, and even dignity, of the passengers, this was said, "what good are those kinds of things going to be worth if a bomb goes on an plane that is airborne?"

The nude x ray machine is now in competition with the machine that you step into, and are then enclosed inside a small bomb proofed area, which then triggers any bomb you may have on you to go off. With the added negative connotations now attached to the nude photographing machine, it is unsure which of the two machines will win out.

"It's a tough call on that one," said one expert, "because it is so much less intrusive for the passengers that do not have bombs on them. As for anyone that does have a bomb on them? Well, nobody else gets hurt, and that's a good thing, I think. It really would be a win for everyone if we could get something convenient like that installed. For now, we just have to stick with what we've got."

Make alassandra2000's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 3?

9 22 15 21

Go to top