Herman Cain attended an editorial board interview yesterday at the Milwaukee Journal. The interview was taped. It did not go well.
One of the first questions from a board member was, "Mr. Cain, will you give us your views on Libya?"
Cain exploded: "Labia!? I TOLD you, I won't go there!" He slammed his bottle of water down so hard on the table that water spewed into the air. Cain continued, "This was NOT part of the agreement. I have answered all these questions and some cute little trick is NOT going to make me change my mind!"
"But Mr. Cain," the board member said, "this is a legitimate question. You must have an opinion on President Obama's handling of the Libya crisis."
Cain: "There you go again! My Mama didn't raise no stupid kids. You forget I am a brother from a different mother of the Koch brothers." He smiled smugly.
Interviewer: "Mr. Cain, we can't conduct this interview if you will not answer questions. Now, do you have an opinion on the Libya matter?"
Cain slammed down his bottle of water again and the water spewed up like a geyser. "YES, I DO," he yelled as he winked at a blond female member of the board. "Like the purple cow, I'd rather see than be one!" The Editorial Board abruptly canceled the remaining questions.
In related news, the Milwaukee Police responded to a call from a local tavern late yesterday. Evidently, several executives from the newspaper were arrested for public intoxication and disorderly conduct. One was admitted to a local hospital for possible concussion after repeatedly hitting his head on the top of the bar and muttering, "Why me, Lord!?"