Written by DB Madd
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Tuesday, 15 November 2011

image for The Statue of Liberty - A solution to America's debt crisis.

With America's debt crisis spiralling out of control, the Federal Reserve has called on all Government Departments to review their portfolios to look for any cost saving or revenue generating opportunities.

In a leaked memo from the National Park Service (NPS), a possible solution to generating additional revenues stands 151 feet high in New York City.

The NPS is the United States' federal agency that is responsible for the management of all national parks as well as monuments. One of the monuments that they manage is the Statue of Liberty in New York. Donated by the French on 28th October 1886, the Statue of Liberty has been the icon for American Freedom ever since. The NPS now believes that the Statue of Liberty can liberate the American people from the debt crisis that plagues the country.

In the memo, Jonathan Jarvis, the Director of The National Park Service, offers three possible solutions to raise money from the Statue of Liberty.

The first option will leverage the 113 tonnes of steel and 27 tonnes of copper that the Statue of Liberty is constructed from.
With world metal prices being at an all time high, it is a perfect opportunity to smelt the statue and sell the raw material to resource hungry countries such as China and India.

Secondly, just like bricks from the Berlin Wall, tourists could come to New York and take a piece of the Statue of Liberty home with them. In this way, the National Park Service could charge a premium for each piece of statue sold. This proposition also aims to increase revenues generated from an influx of tourists to New York City.

Alternatively, the memo suggests the possibility that the Statue of Liberty could be sold to the Chinese. In a proposed pitch to the Chinese, the Statue would be sold as a perfect platform for espionage, due to its high conductivity properties and central location in the city.

A decision on the future of the Statue of Liberty is due to be made on 4th July 2012.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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