Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 November 2011

image for Ron Paul Furious At Only Being Allowed 89 Seconds To Speak At The Spartanburg, South Carolina GOP Debate
Congressman Ron Paul says that during the last debate he hardly got to use his microphone at all.

CARIBOU, Maine - Congressman Ron Paul of Texas, brought his campaign bus tour to Caribou, Maine, the town famous for being the place where the cell phone term 'sexting' was first used.

Paul, 76, spoke to a crowd of 17 people who had gathered in the parking lot of a local Stuffed Lobster, Stuffed Crab, Stuffed Jellyfish, and Other Sea Stuffed Stuff Diner.

He told the crowd that he was very disappointed at the fact that during the last GOP Presidential Debate the CBS moderators had only allowed him a grand total of 89 seconds to speak.

Paul said that Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, and Newt Gingrich were asked all kinds of questions and went on and on whereas he was only asked one question, "Congressman Paul how old are you and isn't that kinda old to be running for president?"

He said that all he got to say was that he was 76 and that he heard that Millard Fillmore was elected president when he was 93, Grover Cleveland was 94, and Martin Van Buren was 97.

The congressman was told that his time was up. He said he had a follow up answer and he was told that he had already used up his follow up answer time.

When Paul started to answer anyway the moderator went to a commercial. Paul said that during the commercial break, he was approached by the debate director and informed that if he did not adhere to the established presidential debate rules, guidelines, and regulations that he would be banned from any further debates and fined anywhere from $2,000 to $20,000.

Paul was also told to stop complaining and that he didn't hear Jon "Question Mark" Huntsman or Rick "Slicky Ricky" Santorum complain so he really needed to lighten up and pay attention to what Perry, Romney, Cain, and Gingrich were saying.

When he remarked "How about Bachmann?" The debate director asked, "Who?"

Paul shook his head and simply remarked "Nevermind fella. Just never friggin mind."

A BEHIND-THE-SCENES NOTE. Rick Perry told a reporter with Tittle Tattle Tonight that he overheard Mitt Romney ask Herman Cain backstage "Hey bro, have anymore white blonde women come out of your past making any touchy-touchy, feely-feely claims?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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