Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 November 2011

image for GOP Polls Show Michele Bachmann Has Fallen Down To Sixth Place - She Blames Part of It On The Ron Paul Rumors
A lucky lipstick that Bachmann says was given to her by Lindsay "The Lucky Bitch" Lohan.

EL DORADO, Arkansas - It appears that Congresswoman Michele Bachmann of Minnesota may be heading back home to The Land of 10,000 Lakes for good.

Polls taken after the latest GOP Presidential Debate in Spartanburg, South Carolina show that the woman known as "Hair Spray" Bachmann has slipped all the way down to the number six spot in the list of GOP White House hopefuls.

Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Magazine spoke with Bachmann and asked her what she feels has caused her to lose so many points and to fall so far down in popularity.

Bachmann shook her head and replied that there are actually several factors. One is the very obvious one that she is just not part of the "Good Old Boy" clique.

She said that backstage before the debates she just doesn't stand around like the guys do and talk about the NBA lockout, the recent baseball World Series, Brett Favre wanting to make yet another comeback, and the amazingly tight short shorts that the sexy Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders wear.

Another issue Bachmann mentioned is that so many people are choosing to make an opinion on her based on surface things like her silly looking hairdo, her ridiculously long fake eyelashes, and the fact that she has made several Sarah Palin type geographical gaffes like when she said that the Grand Canyon was located in Indiana.

Petaluma asked her about the time she said that the nation's First Lady Michelle Obama misspelled her first name because she used two "Ls" instead of just one.

Bachmann rolled her eyes and nodded that she admits that she really made a boo boo there since first name experts from every state in the union pointed out to her that there are 810,894 women in the United States who spell their name Michelle and only 3 who spell it Michele.

She then confided to Petaluma that another thing that she knows hurt her were the false rumors that were started about her and Ron Paul, 76, having been caught parked in an empty lot in Las Vegas in her green Volkswagen Beetle and making out.

Michele said that she has stated at least 183 times that the rumor is positively, unequivocally false. She said that she has even offered to take a Lie Detector Test, a DNA Test, and even a Rochard Test to prove that she is telling the truth.

November 16 is National Happiness Day except in Arizona where according to the latest census reports happiness is frowned upon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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