In what is being described as the most unusual debate in history, Herman Cain, either by accident or design soiled himself last night as he excoriated the media in a diatribe that left nothing to the imagination. As he finished, he held his arms up in the air and proceeded to soil himself! The reaction was immediate as the crowd roared its approval!
The moderators looked puzzled and tried to proceed but as the other candidates saw the crowds' reaction, each took to his podium. Only John Huntsman quietly left the stage. Onlookers heard him say to an aide. "That's it. I'm done!"
Newt Gingrich seized the opportunity and left his podium to stand in front of the moderators. He proceeded to lash out at them with sarcastic and demeaning remarks, held up his arms and soiled himself! The crowd went wild!
Each candidate, including Mitt Romney took to his or her podium and did the same, much to the delight of the audience. At this point, several members of the audience stood up, raised their arms and soiled themselves. Then two more stood up, and then ten more, and finally the entire crowd of three hundred Tea Party activists were standing and soiling themselves! As the moderators gagged and held handkerchiefs to their faces, other journalists ran for the doors, slipping and sliding to get to the exits. A stunned TV audience watched in dismay.
T. J. McCorkle, a tea Party activist, proudly proclaimed:
"This might sound nutty, even a little bit corny, but tonight y'all witnessed history in the making! The beginning of a movement!!
In related news, the Democrats on the Congressional Super committee have called an emergency meeting to deal with the problem of defecate reduction. So far, GOP members are holding their breath, turning red in the face, and refusing to take any further action.