Written by Abel Rodriguez
Print this
Topics: Zoo, Penguins, Toronto

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

image for The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro
This is a photo of Buddy and Pedro's favorite food, sardines.

TORONTO, Canada - The director of The Toronto Zoo, Pierre F. Toulouse has stated that a recent story about two gay zoo penguins has ignited quite a firestorm.

Mr. Toulouse told Taffeta Kixx of iRumors that the zoo purchased two male African penguins from the Toledo (Ohio) Zoo, which turned out to be gay.

He said that he had kept the receipt and tried to return the gay penguins for a full refund, but a representative with the Toledo Zoo said that once the zoo sells an animal, bird, or a fish, it stays sold.

When Mr. Toulouse was asked how he knew the two penguins were gay he replied because the two penguins Buddy and Pedro had been observed holding fins, French kissing, and touching each other's groin region.

Toulouse said that he talked to a reporter for The Toronto Daily Gazette and told him that he was planning on separating the same-sex penguin lovers.

He said that when the newspaper edition came out that he received over 900 phone calls telling him that if he separated the two gay penguins that they would picket the zoo.

The director stated that it was getting kind of embarrassing because people were coming from as far away as Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and Cincinnati, Ohio to stare at the homosexual penguins in action.

Toulouse did confide to Miss Kixx that he did secretly separate the two male penguins from each other for a two hour period. He had zoo workers put each male with a pretty female penguin in hopes of having them breed.

He shook his head and said that as soon as the girl penguin approached Buddy and tried to kiss him, that Buddy angrily pushed her away causing her to slip on a sardine and almost causing an injury to her beak.

Toulouse said that as soon as Pedro was put in a private enclosure with a female penguin he started making weird sounds that can best be described as sounding like a laughing hyena with a horrible toothache.

He noted that Pedro, with the female penguin watching him, put his penguin pee-pee in the penguin dish which was filled with Guppies 'n Bits. Needless to say it instantly put a damper on the female penguin's sexual mood.

Miss Kixx and iRumors will stay with the gay penguin story and provide any developing updates as they develop.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 5?

6 14 5 11
37 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more