Fresh from their triumph in passing a law which allows Christian students in Michigan public schools to bully gay students in the name of Jesus, Michigan legislators are eager to extend the concept to other crimes.
"Currently, we have laws against robbing banks," State Senate president George Kazoo explained. "But it seems to me we ought to allow exceptions in the case of a sincere religious or moral belief. After all, the gospels tell us that Jesus attacked the moneychangers and overturned their tables, scattering their money. It's time to bring our laws into sync with the timeless teachings of our holy books."
Chuck Roast, president of the Michigan Organization for Focusing On Michigan Families (MOFO-MF), said: "It's imperative that we update our laws to protect our families against the homosexual agenda. Deuteronomy clearly states that if a man lyeth with a man, it is an abomination, and they shall both be put to death. Therefore we must have a religious and moral exemption for homicide statues, otherwise we are being oppressed for our sacred beliefs."
Jesus was unavailable for comment.