CHICAGO - Jumping into the raging controversy regarding Herman Cain's alleged sexual harassment of two or more female workers, the Reverend Jesse Jackson today dumped more coals on the fire by calling Cain a "Poozle chasing Uncle Tom honky loving Republican."
Speaking from the very same ecclesiastic pulpit from which he seduced the minds and, in some cases, the underwear off of his own adoring followers, he admonished his brother Herman to follow the way of the Lord or he shall perish:
"Brotha Herman, you hear me?"
"You know betta den dat. You na be able to get way wif sniffin stran pussy cuz you be a consertive wiv valyouse."
"Wa the f..k be wrong wiv you, bro?"
"Brotha Slick Willy, he be da model for us here librals. Don't falla his path or you be in big truble, cuz you be rep mended by meedya if you be sniffin round tha wite poozle."
Synopsis: Dr. Billingsgate, renowned forensic pychologist, has had both the Reverend and Herman Cain on his couch from time to time. Although prevented by ethical standards from revealing confidential information concerning either of his patients, he will disregard this impediment and briefly summarize his findings:
Poozle be poozle and boys be boys.