Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Herman Cain

Thursday, 3 November 2011

The young blonde, blue eyed woman took the podium yesterday in a press conference to explain the circumstances surrounding the accusations of Herman Cain's sexual harassment charges. It didn't last long as she made her opening statement. She began: "It was really no big thing!" At this point her face turned red, she covered her face with her hands, and ran giggling from the stage.

In the back of the room Herman Cain, who had been warned by his handlers not to attend the press conference, slammed down his brief case and shouted, "LIAR!" His handlers hustled him from the room.

Many conservative pundits rushed to Cain's defense. Rush Limbaugh stated on air: "I have shared many a men's room stall with Herman and Larry Craig and I can tell you, this is another liberal weenie slur that tries to diminish the attributes of the Black man. For shame!"

Ann Coulter immediately called a press conference and declared, "I have known Herman for years, back to the time we let him eat in de Big House wid de family! Herman is the real deal!" Coulter hiked up her skirt two inches higher than usual, winked and grinned.

In related news: After the Cain event, Rick Perry was approached by journalists and asked if he had any similar thing in his background that could scuttle his campaign. Perry tipped back his cowboy hat, gave a chuckle, winked at the journalists, and said, "Cows don't talk!"

He then broke into the old Woody Guthrie song: Get along little doggies.

Oh, little doggies,
It's your misfortune and not of my own.
Whoop-ee-ti-yi-o get along little doggies,
You know that Wyoming will be your new home.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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