Written by Captain Dopey
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Topics: California, Surgery

Wednesday, 18 January 2006

image for 'The Governator' has Sex-Change
'Governator' Fifi Satinette, formerly Arnold Schwarzenegger

Governor of California Arnold Scwharzenegger has decided to have sex-reassignment surgery, and intends to serve out his term as 'Miss Dolores Satinette'.
A press release from Republican Headquarters stated that 'The Govenor has decided, after much heartbreak and anguish, to change his sex. From now on he will like to be addressed as 'Dolly' We realise that this will come as a shock to his many supporters, but he and his family have come to this decision after a great deal of deliberation and it is final. His tool gets hacksawed off tomorrow'.
Arnie - who used to enjoy the 'Governator' tag - is now taking lessons in female deportment and speech redefinition from world-famous transsexual 'Fifi de Flounce', a former wrestler. Said Ms. de Flounce: "This is a very brave step for Fifi to take. She has grappled with this conundrum for a long time; nobody goes down this road lightly. To be accepted as a woman after years of presenting yourself as a male takes courage and sheer guts, and I appaud her decision. Of course she looks like a whale in a wig, but hey, who's perfect?'
A cross-dressing close friend of the former Governor, who wishes to remain anonymous, told us: 'First things first: Don't tell anyone I'm George Bush, for God's sake; I'll never get the Prisons Bill through. As for Fifi, well she and I have shared this secret for too long now. I tell you, when all you want to do is troll down to the hairdressers in a pair of five-inch heels and you can't - just because your in charge of a continent - it's a goddamn pain in the ass. I salute her decision to get this thing out in the open. Maybe when it's all settled we can get back to the serious business of, er, talking and that'.
Republican newspaper 'The Republican Newspaper' has backed Governor de Flounce in her decision. Editor Gloria Lipstick told us in a husky voice: "Dat dame sure got what it takes. Me? I wouldn't have the noive. It's bad enough pretendin' to be Jimmy Durante'.
Governor Fifi's Press Secretary was asked if this wasn't just another publicity stunt, and in bad taste since transsexualism is not a subject to be exposed to ridicule: "Until recently we hadn't given the subject any thought whatsoever. Now, of course, we will pour millions into various coffers, as we planned to do in the first place. Don't take that photograph".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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