Rivaling a scene straight out of a 3 Stooges film, White House security cameras caught President Bush and his dog Barney fighting over a dog biscuit in the White House Kitchen, the President winning, gulping down the biscuit in victory then keeling over backwards onto the floor gasping for breath with a Milk Bone dog biscuit lodged in his esophagus. Thankfully for the nation Barney somehow not only revived his master using CPR (Cardiopulmonary Pooch Resuscitation) but got his Milk Bone back as well.
Because of Barney's heroic efforts some members of Congress (the Republican side) are recommending that Barney be given the doggie Medal of Honor along with a taxpayer funded ticker tape parade right down the middle of Times Square.
Other members of Congress (The Democrat side), although not publicly stating it, are secretly wishing that Barney didn't "know so darned much about CPR".
"We were frightened out of our wits" one security guard monitoring the cameras said explaining,
"We saw the fight, the president grabbing one of Barney's Milk Bones, Barney grabbing it back, the back and forth playful banter between president and dog until suddenly we saw the president crash to the floor, gasping for breath, perhaps clinging to life."
White House physicians reportedly have repeatedly asked the president NOT to eat Barney's dog biscuits. OR Barney's Alpo, the president promising not to do it "so help him God" yet evidence clearly shows that aides recently found a discarded can of "Beef n Liver" Alpo in the White House garbage bin .. WITH a plastic spoon in it.
"Barney does not use spoons to eat his Alpo the last I heard" one White House aide told reporters.
Laura Bush does say that her husband and his brother Jeb have always had a "taste" for .. dog food be it dry or "extra meaty with gravy". She told reporters,
"Those dog food patties that look like real burgers? George absolutely LOVES those things, especially when grilled. In fact he even convinced me to try one one day. His all time favorite besides Gravy Train of course is Kibbles n Bits. George and Barney REALLY go to war over that one. Barney usually comes out the victor in that battle."
Barney, unavailable for comment is being credited with saving the life of the President of the United States at a time when the president is most needed to preside over Judge Altio's swearing in ceremony where Alito, sources say, will not only thank Mr Bush for the lifetime job but personally pat Barney on the top of his head for a "job well done".