GEORGIA - In an unassuming presidential race, GOP Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann has officially endorsed Cloud Services for every American citizen who pays taxes when eating hot dogs at sports stadium during post-season play.
According to our statistics, that would potentially include an annual one million American citizens that speculatively participate in post-season play including basketball, football, baseball, hockey, tennis, and badminton played on helicopters. Her campaign team did insist it can also include pay-per view from people who couldn't afford to rob scalpers of their tickets.
In a move that pundits have called 'desperate' from a candidate that has gained a unanimous confidence vote from the Tea Party to quit, Michele Bachmann has promised every American will have Cloud Services in 2076 because 'that's what our founding fathers would have liked.'
Cloud Services is a network that provides an all you can know buffet and distributes it according to our own home local computer network. Unfortunately, data plans will be required in order to ensure bail out for AT&T, Verizon, and Sprint if their data slash app bubble bursts. T-Mobile won't be lasting past five more years.
A spokesperson from the Cain campaign volunteered to comment on this story without our invitation and essentially said that Michele Bachman is 'stuck between the Tea Party irrelevancy and the not enough Occupy Wall Street-cy'. In fact, Mark Block added that they needed to smoke more cigarettes if they wanted to compete with the Herman, let alone the 'Me smoking is not your business' Obama team.
"Which president doesn't smoke?" argued Mark Block.
In related news, Apple will seek to do for Bachmann what they could have done for Obama minus the infiltration of Apple computers in the White House. That's what iPhones are for.