Written by Alvin Taveras
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Saturday, 29 October 2011

image for Herman Cain Gains Popularity While Mrs. Herman Cain Calls Husband PeeWee

SOUTH DAKOTA - First, Herman Cain changed his tax plan from 9-9-9 to 9-0-9. Then Herman Cain's chief of staff, Mark Block, who loves the way smoke feels on his mustache, is shown smoking a cigarette in a political commercial. Then Herman Cain promised to wear cowboy boots, jeans, and a hat while riding a horse to the next GOP Presidential debate. It looks like Herman Cain is treating this campaign as a pizza business.

Studies conducted by Professor Fannie Mae from the University of Loan Debt has kept track on which Republican presidential candidate has been the most watched candidate of them all. Herman Cain easily wins by a margin greater than Sarah Palin's popularity four years ago.

Thus far, Herman Cain has distanced himself from the other candidates by being somebody other than himself. Last week, he produced a commercial advocating cigarette smoking in hopes to win the votes of smokers. He promised smokers that he would lift any state prohibiting smoking inside establishments.

He was also seen in a cowboy uniform taking questions from reporters while he was on top of a horse in the Midwest region. We reached his wife for comment and she had the following to say:

"As long as Pee-Eee comes back home as Pee-Wee, I'm okay with it," says Herman's wife.

A spokesperson for the Cain team was reached for comment and told us that Herman is a product in a political marketplace and he's expected to wear many hats including baseball caps, yarmulke, and the hats that women wear to the Kentucky Derby.

"If Herman wins the Republican nomination the votes he needs would surpass the amount of pizzas he has sold at Godfather Pizza ever," says Professor Einstein. "It's a goal he is committed to hitting even if he has to dress like a woman."

No word yet on how the Cain team will top last week's performance but African Americans are worried how he will try to represent them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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