Written by UWGB-Beek
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Topics: Scott Walker

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Madison, Wis--Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin doesn't like the fact more people aren't calling him to say what a wonderful job he is doing in Madison and what a wonderful job he is doing to create jobs in Wisconsin.

"Teachers should get paid on merit, because that is the only way to improve the educational system I am slowly underfunding. Sure, I could of told voters I was going to stick it to public sector workers, but what fun is it to give away the best secrets when you are running for office?" Scott Walker says in the intro to the video found on his "I used taxpayer money to pat my own back because you assholes won't" website.

Scott Walker, who never called teachers "thugs," just "yuppies," says the website has nothing to do with the possibility of his recall in January.

"I am a nice guy. I want people to see that four school districts out of 426 have nothing but good things to say about how I stuck it to those yuppie teachers. Those yuppie teachers that drive fancy imported cars like the hip Toyota Yaris and Mazda 2s. Oh, they will say making them pay more for pensions and healthcare s wrong, but their pay should be based on merit, not that mine is, haha hehe." Scott Walker said at the end of his video intro to his website.

Scott Walker would also like you to check out the other important things on the website, like how much money Wisconsin people saved on their property taxes. But don't worry, that money was easily erased by the gas tax that goes up every year. Sure, he cares about some taxes, but not the ones that benefit the people that gave him campaign donations.

Not everyone in Wisconsin is enthused by Scott Walkers tax payer funded website.

"I lost my teaching job because Scott Walker cut funding to my Milwaukee school district, and he has the nerve to brag about how his tough love was good for Wisconsin pocket book. I guess when you are too lazy to finish college, you have to stick to the people that actually finished college." Ted Jefferson, an unemployed teacher said.

"What gets me is that the state is suppose to be hurting for cash, but it can pay for websites that just repeat what Governor Walker has given as press releases to the major media outlets in Wisconsin." Mr. Jefferson threw up his hands in disgust.

If you watch the Scott Walker video, you will see Mr. Jefferson in the background giving Scott Walker the proper salute he deserves.

Scott Walker's best friend, Wisconsin Assembly Speaker Jeff Fitzgerald, whose dad was appointed by Scott Walker to head the Wisconsin State Troopers, said: "Teachers have had it good for too long and should get over it. Scott Walker is good for Wisconsin and good for my family, so I support him, and will vote for anything he wants, as long as he can find a state job for my wife."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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