NEW YORK CITY - It's been nearly four years since the 'Obama girl' was seen in the public's eye. Since then shes' managed to reinvent herself by creating a Facebook profile, Twitter account, Google+ page, and an Xbox avatar. And now she has become someone completely differently. 'Obama girl' has endorsed Herman Cain.
It wasn't until President Obama's chief campaign strategist David Axelrod who called "Obama girl" and offered her an unofficial public relations gig without pay, that GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain reached for a smart phone and 'facebooked' her on her new and improved profile wall to offer her an incentive only George W. Bush would be dumb enough to pass by, an ambassador to China.
Despite not having any experience whatsoever in diplomacy other than the clothes she wears on her back and the candy she loves to eat, the 'Obama girl' was on her way to a promising future after Monica Lewinsky.
As soon as David Axelrod heard of Herman Cain's offer, he clenched his teeth and slapped the table in disgust and accused Herman Cain of being disingenuous and overweight and said, "You need to know how to shorthand write, you idiot!"
Fortunately, we were able to meet another aid for clarification from what appeared to be seemingly harsh from Axelrod, the aid speaking to us on the condition of anonymity since information is more profitable when secretly passed on, told us that people within the Obama administration have nicknamed Herman Cain, the Don Corleone pizza boy.
Surprisingly, it doesn't seem to have phased Herman Cain about the quote unquote rumors either. In fact, Herman Cain is nothing short of excited about the preemptive publicity stunt which he learned from George W. Bush but mainly from Karl Rove.
Cain's chief strategist Ronald McDonald, a grass-roots organizer, hamburger loving, hospital building, and monopoly money banker plans to sell Cain's T-shirts to the Tea Baggers with the 'Obama girl' on it. Additionally a free Godfather Pizza and a McDonald toy will be given to those who provide email addresses. Meanwhile, 'Obama's girl' first job is to get her wearing T-shirts with the numbers 9-0-9.
It seems unwise to allow the 'Obama girl' to keep the name but than again, it reminds people whose she was first.
In related news, Herman Cain wanted us to give a shout to 9-0-9 ya'll."