WASHINGTON D.C. - Since day one on the job, President Obama has had his hands tied up with many different political agendas and front lawn beer chats. However, he always managed to find time to read at least ten letters out of twenty thousand he receives from the unemployed, groupies, and Donald Trump every night before he goes to sleep.
Some letters detail the unbearable conditions of Americans, some hail Obama as the best gift to mankind, and the rest are from Donald Trump still demanding to see his birth certificate in person.
A Whitehouse spokesperson commented and told us off the record, that Obama prefers reading letters from fans rather than the usual Donald Trump rants. However, occasionally, Joe Biden slips in a prank letter that includes information no one knows except he and him.
One example is when Joe Biden wrote to President Obama anonymously and cut out letters from a magazine to form the sentence, "I'm going to rip the arms of your childhood teddy bear, Barry, and feed it to you for breakfast." Obama ordered an investigation of that threat and it led the Federal Bureau Investigation Sniper Team to Joe Biden. Obama retaliated and ordered Joe Biden to be water boarded.
But along the way, President Obama decided not only to write back to the ten lucky letters selected to be read personally by him, but to give away the money kept away in a piggy bank for Sasha and Malia for those without a bank. This, of course, excludes the personal emails that he, First Lady Michelle Obama, and Vice President Obama frequently send to supporters to solicit time, money, and friendship.
One of the ten letters, randomly selected by simply grabbing the first letters within sight inside a black garbage bag, touched Obama so deeply that he sent money to help the man out. His name was Joe and he had been tortured and beaten because he wasn't able to pay his rent from a bank. Obama decided to send money that will help the man begin a checking account with Bank of Obama.
When Michelle heard about what Obama was doing she fully supported him in this new endeavor and called it unofficially PenPal Lottery. Although Obama preferred Bank of Obama, Michelle gave the stare that settled the score unfairly.
In other related news, till this day, President Obama still doesn't know that first PenPal lottery winner 'Joe' was actually Joe Biden.