Written by UWGB-Beek
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Topics: Congress, employment

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Washington D.C.--Rep. Paul Ryan is wasting his talents as a potential job creator by spending all his free time trying to stick it to poor and middle-class Americans by creating bills that only help increase his own personal wealth.

"I know that I am sitting on millions of dollars that I could use to create jobs, but instead I just invest my money in the stock market and make millions more thanks to weak regulations. Oh, I do wish I could help.

"It isn't bad enough that I feel guilty about using Social Security to pay for my college tuition, and now thanks to Class Warfare started by Obama, I am stuck in Congress fighting the good fight to make sure the poor and middle class make me richer.

"I would love to create jobs, and jobs that are needed in America, but I just can't spend my money to create jobs when I know that I might end up paying too much in taxes--thanks to Obama." Paul Ryan told reporters.

Rep. Paul Ryan isn't shy about telling Americans that Obama is bad for America, but he also is a little shy about saying how much money he made in the stock market thanks to the legislation he helped pass to protect his own investments.

"It upsets me to see a future job creator spending his time in Congress doing nothing. He introduced three bills in a year and it doesn't seem like he is working too hard, when he should be out there create jobs with all the money he isn't paying in taxes, thanks to me." President Obama said.

It isn't clear if Rep. Ryan will stay in Congress and enjoy his cushy job, or stick his money where his mouth is and create some jobs, since he is a future job creator uncertain about the economic landscape of America--thanks to his own political beliefs that helped create this mess that made him richer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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