Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Hair, work, bald

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

image for Bald Headed Guy Misses Work: Bad Head Day
I hate eggs.

Miami Florida bald headed guy, Joe Alopecia, who has been completely bald for the last 25 years, called in sick on Monday due to a really bad head day.

Apparently Mr. Alopecia woke up Monday morning to find that his entire head had become misshapen over night and resembled a big white egg. Mr. Alopecia made several attempts to rectify the situation by smashing a small salad bowl over his head in order to return it to its original shape, but to no avail.

Finally excepting the fact that he would have to go through the day with his misshapen head, and bracing himself for having to hear people call him an egg head due to the fact that he owned no hat, Mr. Alopecia grabbed his jacket and headed out the front door. He took no more than 10 steps when a large female Canadian goose immediately alighted upon his head. As he tried to get the goose to vacate the top of his head, a male Canadian goose began flying back and forth from a shrub laden field, putting pieces of twigs and grass upon his shoulders.

It should be noted that the male goose never once did gander at Mr. Alopecia's head during the entire time he attempted to build a nest. On Mr. Alopecia's shoulders, that is.

Mr. Alopecia managed to finally shake the female goose off him, as well as the grass and twigs on his shoulders and ducked into a local breakfast joint, where he decided to get a cup of coffee and wait it out.

Within in minutes of sitting down, various customers started walking up to him and tapping his head with a tea spoon, which gave him a really big headache. After several minutes Mr. Alopecia sprinted out the door and grabbed a cab before the two geese could re-a quaint their selves with his head and shoulders.

Mr. Alopecia had the cab driver take him to his Headiatrist who told him that the only cure was to boil his head in a large pot of water for twenty five minutes. His Headiatrist told Mr. Alopecia he would perform the head boiling the very next morning at his house around breakfast time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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