MUNCIE, Indiana - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour pulled into Muncie where she spoke in the parking lot of a Pompous Pizza Parlor.
Bachmann was asked by GOPicky Magazine how she felt she did in the last GOP debate. She giggled and said that she feels that she is getting closer and closer to the White House.
She remarked that now that Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin will not be entering the race she knows that she will have all of the GOP female vote sewed up.
Bachmann also pointed out that she will also have the vote of most of the males who were going to vote for "Basketballs" Palin simply because she likes to shoot big game animals with high-powered telescopic rifles.
Taffeta Kixx of iRumors asked her about the recent rumor that her and fellow GOP candidate Ron Paul had been spotted in her green Volkswagen Beetle which was parked in an empty lot.
The incident allegedly took place after the last debate and the two were observed engaging in some serious making out.
Bachmann turned as pink as a Peoria pink carnation. After she gained her composure she told Miss Kixx that she had first heard that rumor the day after the debate and that she ignored it then and that she was going to ignore it now.
Kixx reminded her that in the political business arena when a candidate chooses to simply ignore a rumor it's because the rumor is more than likely true.
Bachmann took a comb out of her purse and combed her hair. She shook her head and said that she is pretty sure that the rumor was probably started by Nancy Pelosi who is jealous of her because her thighs have less cellulite than Pelosi's do.
She informed Miss Kixx that the damn freakin rumor was just that a damn freakin rumor and that there is no way that she would ever make out with Ron Paul, whom she said is older than corn.
Bachmann was told that when Ron Paul was asked the same question that he got a great big old grin on his face and simply replied, "No comment."
After chugging an entire 16 ounce bottle of water, Bachmann said that she wouldn't make out with Ron Paul if he offered to write her a check for $10,000 or give her $8,000 cash.
Taffeta Kixx and iRumors will certainly follow up on this story and see if they can find some eyewitnesses to come forward. Kixx said that anyone who saw Bachmann and Paul making out after the debate is asked to get a hold of her by logging on to her website at www.taffetakixxirumors.hot