Written by Alvin Taveras
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Topics: Drugs, Mexico

Saturday, 15 October 2011

image for Mexican Druglords Now Accepting Gift Cards as Cash

MEXICO CITY - Mexican drug kingpins have released a statement through their Twitter accounts stating that they are now accepting gift cards as cash.

Police were disoriented when they first heard about their business methods. The police commissioner tried to track the computer in which the tweet was written but the CIA was occupied in New Mexico investigating this large hammer that fell out of the sky.

Residents were ambivalent towards the gift cards. One local told us that the gift card idea is the easiest form of gift giving because 'you don't have to think any more about it.' Others argued that such a move will hurt the economy for the middle class families

Environmentalist organizations were 'Al Gore' angry that the drug lords would use un-recyclable plastic as their method of tender. One spokesperson called the entire operation, "unearthly."

In light of this, President Felipe Calderon has decided to invite Hilary Clinton for a free, one-week, all-inclusive stay at one of Cancun's finest five star hotels. Specifically, the one that's across from SeƱor Frogs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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