WASHINGTON D.C. - First, let me say it's not what you think. No, I'm kidding it is. First Lady Michelle Obama was caught sneaking out of the White House last night about midnight.
The children, Malia and Sasha, are usually in their bedrooms acting like they're sleeping but it's no secret that they're on Facebook talking to their friends from Japan. Skype is too loud.
Meanwhile, Secret Service was hush hush about the First Lady because they were hoping it turns into a Michael Douglas's Sentinel film. Agents haven't decided what cool code word they were going to make her say but hoped they would get paid more money to keep quiet after they retire.
Coincidentally, when President Barack Obama woke up in the middle of the night having nightmares about Herman Cain he noticed his wife not only missing from their bed but missing from the bedroom completely. Unofficially, it's when he smokes a cigarette. But you didn't hear anything from me.
Obama began searching for her even though he was worried that Michelle's whereabouts could reach television morning news rather quickly. Little did he know I have great contacts in high places.
However, after searching for twenty minutes he found her in the oval office downloading Apple's latest iCloud software. Obama walked away grateful that his greatest fear didn't come to life, namely, Herman Cain was hooking up with Michelle.
Afterwards, President Obama reportedly disgruntled, called Cain's pizza 'horrible' and 'worse than Elio's.'