Written by Dominic The Brave

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Monday, 10 October 2011

image for Lone Occupy Bourbon Street Protestor Details Motives
Lang - wasted

The lone protester who has occupied Bourbon Street in New Orleans since Friday evening claims he has no intention of ending his protest and has outlined his reasons for his protest.

David Lang, 52, began his protest on Friday, he occupied Malone's Irish bar for seven hours before heading to Spanky's Bar and Grill where he stayed until 4 am.

''I am not moving from Bourbon Street until I have spent every penny!'' slurred Lang ''That bitch wife of mine can go to hell!''

Observers of the protest, several waitresses and barmen, told me ''He started drinking on Friday and hasn't stopped yet, he keeps talking about how he hates his wife and that she filed for divorce and wants all his money, he has stated on several occasions that he will spend all his money on drinking and prostitutes before he gives her a penny! ''

Lang's protest shows no sign of ending. As of Monday morning he was still on his feet, though unsteady, with two transsexual prostitutes on each arm.

''I am going to take these lovely ladies to my hotel, here on Bourbon Street, and then I am going to resume drinking. My wife is going to be in for a shock when she finds out what I am doing. ''

I did point out that maybe he would be the one in for a surprise should he take his lady friends to his hotel room, he seemed unfazed. 'What the hell do you mean? '' he asked.

You'll find out lover boy, you'll find out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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